A New Roommate

Yes, that’s right. Today I discovered I have a roommate.

As I was sitting here, minding my own business and writing my blog, I thought I saw a shadow on the floor out of the corner of my eye. Granted, I’m a little wired on coffee and a little low on sleep, so I ignore it. Probably just my eyes playing tricks on me.

imgres15 minutes go by and darting back in the other direction, under the door leading into the room next to me I see a black something with a long tail. A mouse? A lizard? Some creepy combination of the two? I’ve heard legends of a cockamouse–half cockroach, half mouse…

Needless to say, I decided there was no way I could sleep knowing that from under the hole in the door some monstrous creature is staring at me, waiting… If it was bold enough to show itself in the light, who knows what it would do in the dark.

I called facilities, what could be more of an emergency that some kind of hideous hybrid pest invading my personal space with its germ-filled body and violent desire to eat my face while I sleep? Apparently that is not an emergency, apparently that is “routine” and I need to use the housing website to send an e-mail request.

So I sent out the e-mail, signing the little bastard’s death warrant. But until then, I’ll lie awake–staring at the space between the door and the floor–in a vigil for my new roommate’s last day on Earth.

To Carl (Yes, I gave it a name), May you Rest in Peace.

[after Westley rescues her from the lightning quicksand]
Buttercup: We’ll never succeed. We may as well die here.
Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt – no problem. There’s a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.’s?
Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.
[Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him]

~The Princess Bride


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